Offensive Comment (not my typical post)

This post is very different than my norm.  I recently posted about my feelings when I found out we were having our 3rd boy - click here if you would like to read it.  Well, late last night I received a comment from an "anonymous" individual on that blog post which read:



"From a mother who lost a child I am appalled that you had the audacity to write that you were disappointed, angry, sad, etc. in having another boy. You should be ashamed of yourself. I hope your sweet baby boy or his brothers never come across this post because you will forever regret saying that. Step back and think about others who aren't blessed enough to have their own children, or are waiting for "that" phone call and then hear the child they have been waiting for isn't coming anymore or who have had a child taken from them. So disappointing.. "








The more I think about this comment, the more offended I feel, so I just had to write about it.  Now, I have no idea who wrote it - it could be a friend and it could be a stranger who just stumbled upon my blog somehow.  Whoever it is, it is unfortunate that she didn't show her identity in the comment and played the anonymity card which makes the internet so interesting and inappropriate sometimes...


Was I really that wrong in writing honestly about how I feel?  I really don't think so.  My feelings were completely NORMAL.  Nothing I wrote would be bad for any of my children to read in the future - (it would actually create wonderful discussion about human emotions and life expectations).  The above poster is stating as if I didn't want my baby just because he's not a she!  I have always wanted this baby and I have always loved this baby and will always continue to love this baby - boy or girl, it really doesn't matter at all in the end.  I have also felt so lucky to be able to get pregnant so easily, lucky to carry to term with healthy babies, and lucky to have such a wonderful family that continues to grow.  I just really don't think that by sharing about my disappointment it makes me any less grateful - and I also don't think I am not "think[ing] about others who aren't blessed enough to have their own children, [etc.]."  That is completely unrelated.  It's kind of like telling me that I shouldn't complain about having a bad day because I am blessed to not have cancer.  I have feelings just like the rest of you.  This is my PERSONAL BLOG...for friends and family to read - and anyone who knows me, knows where my heart is in all of this (and knows how to read enough to see that I clearly explained how I coped with the disappointment and that I am excited for this little man to join our family.  Really...how could I not be - Eben and Bode are A-MA-ZING children and this boy will be just as amazing - I know it).


Mothers feel SO much pressure to always walk around with smiles on their faces and be constantly happy about being "blessed" because they are moms.  Yes, I realistically always feel blessed, but sometimes I don't have that smile on my face.  Sometimes motherhood is so frustrating and exhausting that I don't feel happy every second of the day.  And that is OKAY.  We are human and we have feelings, and life expectations, and when things or moments don't go as we hope, we get disappointed and it's normal - and then we cope and learn to love the new path we have been given.  It is just not helpful to go around telling people not to feel - or at least telling them to not talk about how they feel.  That is unhealthy and harmful.